Holiday Hiatuson December 19, 2012 at 10:17 pm
And everyone was furious at phenixryte23 for doing it again!
I’m incredibly sorry guys, but over the past two weeks since starting chapter 4 I’ve come to realise I already reached my limits at the end of chapter 3. I attempted to create a new improved work schedule which worked great on paper… but was impossible for me to stick to even closely.
I’ve been having a lot of trouble, mostly mental trouble, trying to keep myself out of depression and stay focussed on the task at hand and better things. But it hasn’t worked, I’ve been asking myself some pretty dark questions as of late and I still haven’t found answers. I feel like I’m reaching a new point of self-searching and it’s coming as a bit too much of a shock for me, who thought I knew myself so well.
I’ve lost a lot of faith, I’m doubting myself all the time and becoming more and more bitter towards the people around me… I do not want to continue like this.
So I’ve got no choice, it’s the perfect time of the year and a relatively decent point in the story to just stop for a while. I need to take a break, I cannot continue, the harder I push myself the further back I fall, the more I force myself onwards the more it hurts to slam against this wall that’s appeared infront of me.
I hate to say it but sometimes you have to admit the things you feel to get past them, I’ve gotten very bitter about this webcomic. I do everything I can to make it work and keep it up, but I feel like I’ve earned nothing for it, and I can’t shake off the thought that I’m never going to earn anything for my efforts. I do not have the correct mentality for this right now, I ask for help and get not even the slightest response from anyone, I work hard making some genuine sacrifices in order to succeed and nobody seems to have noticed. I’m getting more frustrated at those who are succeeding whilst producing less work at a much lower quality, all I can think is ‘it’s not fair’…
But that’s all emo talk and I don’t want to go down that road, I’m doing everything I can to keep that state of mind as far from me as possible, I just need to admit, that’s how I’m starting to feel.
Alright I’ve wasted enough words now, just know that I will continue the webcomic potentially at the start of next year, I’ll keep working behind the scenes during that time to hopefully avoid anything like this happening before the end of this chapter.
I wish you all the best holidays,